Time Heals?

A famous adage is that “time heals all wounds” and for the most part I did believe that until this past week. I now have a different take in that time does not heal wounds as much as it puts a scar over them and hides them deep beneath that protective barrier.

It would seem logical since a scar is a harder surface to pierce than just your skin. A scar has diminished nerve ending available to feel pain so if a memory is buried beneath a scar it is harder to get at and be affected by it than one that is nearer the skin.

I had the occasion this past week to revisit a painful time in my life; a time of great confusion and consternation. It was during this time that I began the process of understanding a little more what life was about and how cruel it and the people in it could be at times.

Over the years since that time I have had a great life and have been blessed in so many ways and I had ‘gunny sacked” those experiences as being a learning curve to my current life and I think to a certain extent that is true. Most of us take our past experiences and apply them to our daily lives when necessary to garner greater knowledge on how something should be handled. It is a good way to look at life, I think.

My conundrum came from the fact that I had thought that I was in a certain place with certain past issues and I guess I really had never concluded them but allowed them to just be gunny sacked. When I took them out and looked at them again with a rather dispassionate eye; I found that I was actually looking at them with greater emotion than I thought I would and that surprised me.

What I came away with was that I still cared very deeply about what happened then; much more deeply than I ever thought I would have at this period of time in my life and that surprised me. Actually, I was emotionally spent after writing about this period in my life and my mind was adrift in thought.

I have recovered, yet there is still a small part of me searching for information and answers to questions long since asked and still not answered after all these years. They never will be and that is the way life handles these issues. It is a good way because total accountability in all facets of our lives could be a painful process for all of us.

Will I go back there and revisit this time again, I think not unless there is a need. I owe it to myself and my family to be in the moment for them and not lost in the history of my life. It is a good plan, I think.