I Did It

I had an epiphany this morning in church during pastor’s sermon. It was All Saint Day which is a day commemorating all those that have gone before us to their heavenly reward.

The history of All Saints Day is well reported with All Hallows Eve being right before it and all of the evil spirits have their way the night before and all of the dead in Christ are honored the next day. It is a nice service to be involved in, I think.

Anyway, pastor was preaching about saints and white robes and I started to think about my mother. Now in the true representation of Christian deportment and overall goodwill; my mother fell far short of the benchmark. She was a good person, don’t get me wrong, but she was not a Christian that you could tell in any facet of her life. She swore, cussed, and had other personality traits that did not put a big “Jesus sign on her.

She was a Christian as I was to find out hours before her death when Pastor Willie came and visited with her that one last time. Even in her last hours she listened to him as he read scripture and prayed. So I have no doubt that she is in heaven at this very moment and that I will see her once again.

A lot of my problems with her in her latter days were with decisions that she made that kept me from taking care of her in her last months and years. She did some financial things that made it very difficult for me and I might say I struggled internally since her death with these decisions but today I had an epiphany.

I was focused on the wrong thing. It wasn’t about her care during that time but it was about her care at “that” time, when she died. It wasn’t about her investments or paying her bills but being there holding her hand at that moment of time when all of the other things no longer held any importance in either of our lives. Would I have liked it to be different, sure but that was not what God wanted; He wanted me there in that room holding her hand when she took her last breath and left me for Him. And I did that so I can now know and say with confidence that I took care of her until her death.

With that, I fulfilled a promise I made to my dad and I can rest easier that I did, in fact, do what was required of me and I am better for knowing it now.

Now she can rest in peace not only in Colorado but in my mind as well. Thank you Lord for allowing me to see this finally in my life and knowing that I did do what was asked of me not only for her but to your glory also.